CHRIS AND THE BOYS
by Eugene Johnson
Happy Adolf Hitler Day! Happy Jeffery Dahmer Day! Happy Son of Sam Day! Happy Stephen Green Day!
If we are going to celebrate the world's most horrific killers...we should embrace them all and celebrate every last one of them.
Happy Peter Brzica Day! King of the Cutthroats! He cut the throats of 1360 Serbs in a single evening. What a great man! He should be hailed just as highly as Columbus!
Happy Eichmann Day! Happy Sharon Day! Happy Clinton Day! Happy Bush 1 Day! Happy McNamara Day! Happy Lemay Day! Happy Bush 2 Day! Happy Rumsfeld Day! Happy April Glaspie Day! Happy Madeline Albright Day!
We could even honor killer organizations like the Crusades, which I know many already do! Happy Janjaweed Day! Happy Ustasha Day! Happy Gestapo Day! Happy Police Day! Happy FBI Day! Happy CIA Day!
And their temple flowed with blood, so much so that it was ankle deep.
We rowed out to Indian Island in Humboldt Bay to see all the people there murdered. There were several Indians still alive, but barely. One woman had half her scalp missing and was holding her dead baby in her arms.
They were tired of seeing the Indians hanging around near Silverton, Oregon, so a few townsfolk got together and attacked their two peaceful camps, killing almost all of them in the area.
The U.S. military found three Deleware children who stayed behind in the city of Oquaga during the "Revolutionary War." They had hidden in the corn. Several militia men spit them on their bayonettes and raised them into the air until they died in their last bits of agony. Happy three dead Delaware kids spit on American Bayonettes Day!
One time, I had checked out a copy of Columbus' log from the Library. My sister, who is not an activist, started reading the thing, and I couldn't get her nose out of it. She read it intently, and finally, after some half hour or so her eyes raised from the pages, her fingers knotted into fist. "It's all about the gold!" she told me. "I know," I smiled.
Happy Jasenovac Day! Happy Auschwitz Day! Happy Dacchau Day! Happy Jeffrey Amhurst Day! Happy Smallpox Blankets Day! Happy Zyclon B Day! Happy Bender Day!
[snore] Must kill all humans. [snore] Must kill all humans.
Happy nuclear bomb day! Happy Hiroshima Day! Happy Nagasaki Day! Happy Rape of Nanking Day! Happy Robert McNamara Day! Happy JFK Day! Happy Robert Kennedy Day! Happy Gas Chamber Day! Happy Winston Churchill Day! Happy Joseph Stalin Day!
Happy Guantanamo Bay Day! Happy Abu Ghraib Day! Happy Baghram Day! Happy Lynchings Day! Happy Abuse Day!
Happy Verbal Abuse Day! Happy Sexual Abuse Day! Happy Rape Day! Happy Toxic Waste Day! Happy Radiation Day! Happy Child Abuse day! Happy Hutus Day! Happy Machete Day! Happy Suharto Day! Happy Marcos Day! Happy Iddi Amin Day! Happy Columbus Day!
"Gonna get me a shotgun...Kill Every Whitey I see!"
Happy Pinochet Day! Happy Lyndon B. Johnson Day! Happy Kill them all little and big...nits make lice Day!
It's always been about the gold.
Happy Goebbels Day! Happy Mass Media Day! Happy Mystic Lake Massacre Day!
"We Love our Killers! We Really Love our killers."
Happy Saddam Hussein Day! Happy Andrew Jackson Day! Happy Alexander Hamilton Day! Happy Ronald Reagan Day! Happy Henry Kissinger Day! Happy Pedophile Priest Day! Happy Union Carbide Day! Happy Charles Manson Day!
Charlie, you know, never killed a single person. Just like George Bush. Charlie motivated others to kill for him...Just like George Bush.
We Love our killers. We really do! We give them great praise. One man chased down a woman for five miles at Wounded Knee when he finally shot her in the back. They even buried at least one person alive in that mass grave. That mass grave where Rhonda and I prayed and were photographed by disrespectful tourists as the reservation starving attempted to sell trinkets so their families could eat.
Why don't we honor our lovers? I know we do a few, like MLK. He was a great Lover and Lover of the people. He wanted everyone to have joy and happiness, opportunity, and the ability to deal with the natural suffering that occurs in our lives. Columbus wanted gold and was willing to do many horrific things to get it...and did. He has his day also...Why? Because we Love our killers. That's why we continue to let George Bush enact his horrible crimes against humanity. We Love our killers.
And our Lovers. We need Lovers days and no more honoring killers like Columbus, Jackson, Johnson, McNamara, Lemay, Schwarpzkopf...
We were about to close the door on Iraq and make it a battle of complete annihilation. It was about to become a battle of Cannae, a battle of complete annihilation.
Lovers! How about a Happy Rhonda Day! How about a Happy Eugene Day! How about a Happy [insert your name here] Day if you are a great Lover.
Let's honor our Lovers. Let's honor those who Love the people. Let's NOT honor those who have enacted the most horrific crimes against humanity ever again. In fact, let's get the most horrific criminals out of our government and replace them with Lovers. Let's make a new constitution because, honestly folks, the U.S. Constitution really sucks. Read other constitutions and you will know what I mean. Honest.
So everyday should be a Happy Lovers Day of some kind! Today, is my Happy Rhonda's Day! Happy Rhonda's Day, Rhonda! You're a wonderful peaceneck who does what she can, as well as a fantastic Lover and Lover of the people. You should be honored, and all those like you! Happy all of you Day!
Would you Love me, if I rampaged through the streets with an AK-47 and killed as many people as I could? Would you Love me the more blood I made flow of the people? Would you honor me with a holiday for the attrocities I committed? Of course not! Then why do you honor Christopher Columbus who murdered millions? Why?
# posted by Eugene @ 7:57 AM
