Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Work
Rhonda informs me regularly she Loves her job. She is a hospice nurse, and in the work she does she gets to exercise her Love for the people, her compassion, and does something very important, helping people in the process of crossing over. Like midwifery into the spirit world. The work she does is amazing, and she is good at it. I Love her very much!
Work for me has always just been work. I have been an activist for years and folks, there just aint no money in it. I have written for years, but people get it for free because I'm willing to share it that way, no money in that either. Besides, my book was a failure in many senses (I still have about 20 copies left). I don't sell myself well and doing that type of work one has to sell onself to the people. Kind of like prostituting yourself.
I never went to college. I always wanted to be a working stiff like my dad. I was proud of my dad. Dad, on the other hand, wanted me to go to college. He passed on before I even got out of high school, so I didn't have that support when I left my institutional education.
Being just an everyday working stiff, I like my current job. I go in, deal with management on a minimal basis, I hit the road (I Love to drive), deliver a bunch of food (feeding the people, but more like feeding business), I go back to the warehouse, deal minimally again with management, and I go home. Each week I get a paycheck, and for a grunt job, this one pays pretty well.
Recently I thought of being a sociologist. I attempted to get into the educational system, but until my 42nd year of life is over, it will be difficult for me to get education money (I never signed up for selective service, which is a crime). Because of my early poor decisions, and good decions, I am now just a working stiff. I grunt to make others money and they give me money for rent on my time and skills as a driver and delivery boy.
My work is never fulfilling like it is with Rhonda. My work is just my work. I am good at it and I get a paycheck for it. William Temple House was close. It was good working with all of my fellow human beings like that, but it also had its drawbacks.
I like being a working stiff, but I feel like I've missed out on so much. All of that time I rented out to others could have been used doing something more useful and helpful to the people. I mean working is a part of the economy and it keeps things moving in this world and working people are awesome fucking people, but I feel like it has been unfulfilling to me, or rather, is becoming "not enough" for me.
Sociology is slipping from my heart. Attempting a writing career is COMPLETELY out of my mind. I don't feel lost or empty. I have no regrets. I would like to have a career that is more helpful to the people. I'm not so sure about a higher education anymore either. I think their will ALWAYS be road blocks for me to get into college unless I suddenly become a muti-millionaire. But if I become a mutli-millionaire, I'd spend most of my time doing activist work and not having to worry about having a job to help support my family. The likelyhood of me becoming a multi-millionaire are pretty much non-existant.
I guess I'm feeling restless as far as work is concerned. What I do, I do well. But it doesn't fulfill me the way I'd like it to. It does in the sense that I feel secure and have an income, but there isn't a whole lot of substance, but I don't see any other way for me to have an economy. I like to work. I like my job. I like helping my family out financially. But something is missing and I'm just not sure what.
Work for me has always just been work. I have been an activist for years and folks, there just aint no money in it. I have written for years, but people get it for free because I'm willing to share it that way, no money in that either. Besides, my book was a failure in many senses (I still have about 20 copies left). I don't sell myself well and doing that type of work one has to sell onself to the people. Kind of like prostituting yourself.
I never went to college. I always wanted to be a working stiff like my dad. I was proud of my dad. Dad, on the other hand, wanted me to go to college. He passed on before I even got out of high school, so I didn't have that support when I left my institutional education.
Being just an everyday working stiff, I like my current job. I go in, deal with management on a minimal basis, I hit the road (I Love to drive), deliver a bunch of food (feeding the people, but more like feeding business), I go back to the warehouse, deal minimally again with management, and I go home. Each week I get a paycheck, and for a grunt job, this one pays pretty well.
Recently I thought of being a sociologist. I attempted to get into the educational system, but until my 42nd year of life is over, it will be difficult for me to get education money (I never signed up for selective service, which is a crime). Because of my early poor decisions, and good decions, I am now just a working stiff. I grunt to make others money and they give me money for rent on my time and skills as a driver and delivery boy.
My work is never fulfilling like it is with Rhonda. My work is just my work. I am good at it and I get a paycheck for it. William Temple House was close. It was good working with all of my fellow human beings like that, but it also had its drawbacks.
I like being a working stiff, but I feel like I've missed out on so much. All of that time I rented out to others could have been used doing something more useful and helpful to the people. I mean working is a part of the economy and it keeps things moving in this world and working people are awesome fucking people, but I feel like it has been unfulfilling to me, or rather, is becoming "not enough" for me.
Sociology is slipping from my heart. Attempting a writing career is COMPLETELY out of my mind. I don't feel lost or empty. I have no regrets. I would like to have a career that is more helpful to the people. I'm not so sure about a higher education anymore either. I think their will ALWAYS be road blocks for me to get into college unless I suddenly become a muti-millionaire. But if I become a mutli-millionaire, I'd spend most of my time doing activist work and not having to worry about having a job to help support my family. The likelyhood of me becoming a multi-millionaire are pretty much non-existant.
I guess I'm feeling restless as far as work is concerned. What I do, I do well. But it doesn't fulfill me the way I'd like it to. It does in the sense that I feel secure and have an income, but there isn't a whole lot of substance, but I don't see any other way for me to have an economy. I like to work. I like my job. I like helping my family out financially. But something is missing and I'm just not sure what.
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