Pudgy Indian

Again,
I awoke happy and forgetting my dreams,
and in minutes
I was angry as I realized
I'm about to go to the place
of many ironies
where I work
and am punished by my vision
soul
and thoughts.

Two floor-droppers as I call them
I experienced yesterday
and I realized what they were
after much hindsight and prayer.
It is my soul leaving my body
in everyway but the pain.
It is rough and immediate and fierce
and I find myself in a ball on the floor
crying immensely at the bearable pain
I carry in my soul.
And I don't use the medicine that softens the blows
I don't use the medicine that keeps them from happening
because my workplace may fire me
and at the same time
I don't want to be there anyway,
but I ride the rough waves
and manage to bring out my sacred pipe
fill it with tobacco
and pray
with my tears and pain!
I pray with my tears in pain for healing!
I pray!

Anger pours from my soul
the rage of a cornered lion
but I'm not a cornered lion
and there are ways out
just as rough or more so
as being in...
and I hear a song
in the not so distance
of a place I am supposed to be
that will support my economy
and we will be medicines to each other.

And Lover-Love has come my way
and I wrap myself in her scarf
to feel what has touched her skin
for the distance of earth that separates us
does not separate our souls
and I Love her so dearly
and we look forward to being
in each others arms
as we sustain each others souls...

And the morning is cool and cold
the sky was clear at first
and the stars shown brightly in the sky
and I imagined lying on a blanket in the grass
looking up at the stars as we hold hands
and whisper secrets in each others ears.

My body aches
as I walk across the bridge
to write these words to you
and I left my tobacco at home
and spray cedar spray
made by my friend Cynthia
as I make each prayer.

And each prayer comes out as beauty
Each prayer comes out as a form of joy
A joy my body didn't feel this day
until that moment.
I Love you so dearly, Mikhelle.
You are so beautiful and wonderful
and everyday I Love you more and more!
Everyday, your love comes my way
in a complete Revolution.
Everyday we create beauty together.
I Love you so beautifully, Mikhelle.

I understand the power of poetry,
the word.
The humbling beauty
that has inspired people to publish my work,
inspired people to want to make video of my work,
guided me to you, Mikhelle.

My heart smiles
in my morning exhaution
unable to sleep at 2:30 in the morning
reading and writing
angry and Loving
touching the cloth
that has touched you.
I can bear this pain of healing
knowing that it will pass
and soon we will be together
to touch under the sky, clouds, and stars,
to hold each other
in the beautiful depths of our Love, Mikhelle.

I'd count the days,
but time has lost all meaning.