Thursday, April 27, 2006
Post 400
Holy shit, I wrote 400 posts on this thing...I think I need a 12 step program...JUST KIDDING!
Woke up this morning working on my good thoughts. I wondered why it was so difficult today, and I realized I'm going to work today. Only for about 3 hours, but still... I understand more about the knowledge that sometimes one has to move on from something that is unhealthy to find their focus on that which is beautiful and be able to find those things that are healthy for us, economically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.
I'm getting more pissed off about what is going on in Caledonia. I'm going to do work that people know that this IS another Oka. Indians are just tired of this arrogant fucking bullshit!
OK. Let me give you an example of this type of attitude that so FUCKING pisses me off, but I usually let fall from my shoulders. There is a sign at about 15th and Couch in NW right by 405, that talks of some generous white man giving land in that particular area back in the 1800s for a medical school. How generous. But where did that white man get that land? By simply claiming it as his own and removing the people who already lived there by FORCE! There is no history in this town prior to the White Man! Just ask them. Who were the Indians in this place? What did they do? What accomplishments did they have in their lives? No one cares because they aren't white, but worse than that, they are indigenous!
I have a combination of shit here to piss me off! Energize me into action! But I'm so angry at this shit, I really have to focus as I head into my rape energy to hang out with my two buddies one more time. AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ok, a little better.
[breathe...breathe...breathe]
This weekend I will be doing a sweat. A "woipila" ceremony! A thank you to the spirits in the form of a sweat for the healing I've gone through, the separation of me physically from that which reminds me consistently of my rape, the awakening to Lover Love, the opening to Lover Love from Mikhelle, the opening to whatever future directions I'm being headed (putting the prayers out there),
And here we are, brothers and sisters. Here we are! May we all do what we can!
I send a big fat beautiful
THANK YOU! LEIGH ANNE! YOU ARE SO AWESOME!
I send a big fat beautiful
I LOVE YOU, MIKHELLE! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND ALL YOU DO ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TURTLES BACK! YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL AND AWESOME AND I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY!
The sun is so Beautiful outside today! I know the walk will be wonderful across the bridge back and forth.
I went to my Polynesian Dance Class yesterday. It is so fun! But we are doing all women's dances! I Love learning to move my hips in ways that they haven't before and it feels like it is awakening things in my soul as well as my body...yummy! It is odd, yet not so odd to me to think about this. I mostly don't care for male activity all that much. But most male activity is defined by watching sports on TV, talking about women as sex objects, attempts at domination interpersonally, etc. But I'd Love to learn the Polynesian male dances as well. In these activities, I want to feel the balance. I want to learn the dances where men and women interract. Me. This seems more like a male activity than watching sports or playing them for that matter. I know, it's the sports industry telling me what sports is supposed to be like.
But seriously, I Love the hip movements. I Love them a lot. I'm not that good at them, but practice practice practice. Hips, balance, the creations of life, the basis of life, Love and Desire. Expressions of passion and beauty and desire... I Love the hip movements. I Love the whole thing, but the movement of the hips is what fills me with Beauty and Desire, no matter the fact that currently I aint all that good at it, but I did improve from the first to the second class.
So this is post 400, and I want to leave with one more sentence!
I LOVE YOU, MIKHELLE!
Woke up this morning working on my good thoughts. I wondered why it was so difficult today, and I realized I'm going to work today. Only for about 3 hours, but still... I understand more about the knowledge that sometimes one has to move on from something that is unhealthy to find their focus on that which is beautiful and be able to find those things that are healthy for us, economically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.
I'm getting more pissed off about what is going on in Caledonia. I'm going to do work that people know that this IS another Oka. Indians are just tired of this arrogant fucking bullshit!
OK. Let me give you an example of this type of attitude that so FUCKING pisses me off, but I usually let fall from my shoulders. There is a sign at about 15th and Couch in NW right by 405, that talks of some generous white man giving land in that particular area back in the 1800s for a medical school. How generous. But where did that white man get that land? By simply claiming it as his own and removing the people who already lived there by FORCE! There is no history in this town prior to the White Man! Just ask them. Who were the Indians in this place? What did they do? What accomplishments did they have in their lives? No one cares because they aren't white, but worse than that, they are indigenous!
I have a combination of shit here to piss me off! Energize me into action! But I'm so angry at this shit, I really have to focus as I head into my rape energy to hang out with my two buddies one more time. AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ok, a little better.
[breathe...breathe...breathe]
This weekend I will be doing a sweat. A "woipila" ceremony! A thank you to the spirits in the form of a sweat for the healing I've gone through, the separation of me physically from that which reminds me consistently of my rape, the awakening to Lover Love, the opening to Lover Love from Mikhelle, the opening to whatever future directions I'm being headed (putting the prayers out there),
And here we are, brothers and sisters. Here we are! May we all do what we can!
I send a big fat beautiful
THANK YOU! LEIGH ANNE! YOU ARE SO AWESOME!
I send a big fat beautiful
I LOVE YOU, MIKHELLE! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND ALL YOU DO ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TURTLES BACK! YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL AND AWESOME AND I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY!
The sun is so Beautiful outside today! I know the walk will be wonderful across the bridge back and forth.
I went to my Polynesian Dance Class yesterday. It is so fun! But we are doing all women's dances! I Love learning to move my hips in ways that they haven't before and it feels like it is awakening things in my soul as well as my body...yummy! It is odd, yet not so odd to me to think about this. I mostly don't care for male activity all that much. But most male activity is defined by watching sports on TV, talking about women as sex objects, attempts at domination interpersonally, etc. But I'd Love to learn the Polynesian male dances as well. In these activities, I want to feel the balance. I want to learn the dances where men and women interract. Me. This seems more like a male activity than watching sports or playing them for that matter. I know, it's the sports industry telling me what sports is supposed to be like.
But seriously, I Love the hip movements. I Love them a lot. I'm not that good at them, but practice practice practice. Hips, balance, the creations of life, the basis of life, Love and Desire. Expressions of passion and beauty and desire... I Love the hip movements. I Love the whole thing, but the movement of the hips is what fills me with Beauty and Desire, no matter the fact that currently I aint all that good at it, but I did improve from the first to the second class.
So this is post 400, and I want to leave with one more sentence!
I LOVE YOU, MIKHELLE!
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