Thursday, December 08, 2005
Thanks, but no thanks
It is becoming very apparent that the woman I was interested is not interested in me. That's OK. If it was meant to be it would be. I'm still very interested, she is so special, but she is no longer calling me. I'm not sure if I offended her, scared her, or what. I just know she is no longer calling.
When I first fell in love with her, I felt like I was being shown how it was supposed to feel. The first words out of one of my spiritual advisors when I told her was I was being shown how it was supposed to feel, though not necessarily for this woman. I guess maybe that's true.
Seeing her at social functions and going out on one date, I could tell there was a lot of validity for the way I felt for her. I thought it might be a little mutual (all of my relationships thus far have been me working hard to gain a little trickle of love or abuse or no love at all from the women I loved). I guess I was wrong.
But now I have all this energy in my body. This energy I wanted to share in just hanging around with her, but, I guess not. Maybe she isn't the one. I just hate the not knowing. I'd prefer a kiss off call. I'm used to those and easily accept them. The not knowing thing after feeling so wonderful about her and thinking at one point that it might actually be somewhat mutual...Oh well. Knowing the way I feel right now, I'll probably try again. I'm in no rush and there aren't too many interested parties to try to influence. I just know I have this wonderful energy in my body and will probably let it trickle away in flirting with women until it is drained out.
I've been flirting heavily with a couple of women regularly, but I don't think either of those are going to go anywhere either. That's OK, because life is good. I just hate the not knowing thing. The least she could have done is call me and tell me, "Thanks, but no thanks." But not even that kind of leaves a horrible limbo.
Speaking of limbo. My alleged last meeting for my book, which was supposed to happen for the last month, is now allegedly going to happen on Sunday....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Well, I'm off to cross the bridge and take the bus home. All plans for this afternoon all the way to Sunday have been tossed out the window. I even took the day off tomorrow to pick up a buddies vehicle and go out with the woman I thought was interested in me, but now all that is open, too. Feh! I'll probably just come down here and write the next couple of days now that I'm not doing anything.
The woman...She was worth the shot. She is so awesome. She is so wonderful, intelligent, cool, beautiful, active...I tried. At least I tried. At least I now know how it is supposed to feel.
When I first fell in love with her, I felt like I was being shown how it was supposed to feel. The first words out of one of my spiritual advisors when I told her was I was being shown how it was supposed to feel, though not necessarily for this woman. I guess maybe that's true.
Seeing her at social functions and going out on one date, I could tell there was a lot of validity for the way I felt for her. I thought it might be a little mutual (all of my relationships thus far have been me working hard to gain a little trickle of love or abuse or no love at all from the women I loved). I guess I was wrong.
But now I have all this energy in my body. This energy I wanted to share in just hanging around with her, but, I guess not. Maybe she isn't the one. I just hate the not knowing. I'd prefer a kiss off call. I'm used to those and easily accept them. The not knowing thing after feeling so wonderful about her and thinking at one point that it might actually be somewhat mutual...Oh well. Knowing the way I feel right now, I'll probably try again. I'm in no rush and there aren't too many interested parties to try to influence. I just know I have this wonderful energy in my body and will probably let it trickle away in flirting with women until it is drained out.
I've been flirting heavily with a couple of women regularly, but I don't think either of those are going to go anywhere either. That's OK, because life is good. I just hate the not knowing thing. The least she could have done is call me and tell me, "Thanks, but no thanks." But not even that kind of leaves a horrible limbo.
Speaking of limbo. My alleged last meeting for my book, which was supposed to happen for the last month, is now allegedly going to happen on Sunday....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Well, I'm off to cross the bridge and take the bus home. All plans for this afternoon all the way to Sunday have been tossed out the window. I even took the day off tomorrow to pick up a buddies vehicle and go out with the woman I thought was interested in me, but now all that is open, too. Feh! I'll probably just come down here and write the next couple of days now that I'm not doing anything.
The woman...She was worth the shot. She is so awesome. She is so wonderful, intelligent, cool, beautiful, active...I tried. At least I tried. At least I now know how it is supposed to feel.
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]