Monday, October 31, 2005

 

Bill "At Least He's a Democrat" Clinton

I have a renewed and ferverent HATRED for Bill Clinton.

I rented the movie, "The Ghosts of Rwanda," from the PBS show, Frontline. It is about the Hutu genocide against the Tutsi's in Rwanda.

Bill "Can I Cum In Your Mouth" Clinton and Madeline "Acceptable Loss" Albright allowed and were complicit in the genocide of the Tutsi people of Rwanda. I was so offended by the words Bill Clinton was saying, he was excusing his inactions.

When the genocide was happening, I thought two things about it. One was that the U.S. government wasn't going to do anything to help a bunch of black people. Black on black violence is acceptable and enjoyable to the U.S. government (consistent pattern). Two was we musn't have economic interests there. There isn't anything in Rwanda that the U.S. government wants to steal for their corporate owners. Wouldn't you know it, I was right.

Because, right there, in front of the world, Bill was saying that the U.S. refused to help because we didn't have economic interests there. He wasn't so willing to admit that he only thought of these people as a bunch of niggers, though his actions and inactions stated that for him. Same with that fucking shithole Madeline Albright.

Gen. Dallare of the UN Peacekeepers was a hero in this action. His forces were reduced by 90% instead of a complete pullout, but enough to allow a maximum slaughter of blacks by other blacks. The man did as much as he could with so little, and those who could have helped didn't because there was no wealth to steal and all the people getting killed were black, or Niggers as the U.S. government might say in unrecorded meetings.

When Paul Rusesabegina spoke at Lewis and Clark as was asked why the U.S. didn't help, he stated it even more plainly, "Because there is no oil." Aint that the truth. Bill Clinton and Madeline Albright even said as much.

What stopped the genocide was the Tutsi rebels. In fact, the U.S. made many negotiated attempts to get the rebels to stop their advance. Why? In my opinion, the genocide could have killed even more niggers if the rebels didn't fight back. This opinion comes in the face of the consistent racist and genocidal policies of the U.S. government. Take, for example, New Orleans and Hurricane Katrina. U.S. actions and inactions in Rwanda, Darfur, and New Orleans should be proof enough of the U.S. racist and genocidal policies. They're letting a similar genocide happen in Darfur right now. No oil, and aint nothing but blacks getting murdered. Why the fuck help? Of course there is article 6, section 2 of the U.S. constitution which states "treaties are the supreme law of the land." And the U.S. did sign the Genocide treaty. But like I said, and many others as well, no oil in Darfur, and aint nothin' but blacks getting murdered.

That said, "Genocide Cover-Up Day" is on alleged Thanksgiving Day, November 24th, from 9am -noon. It will be on KBOO, 90.7fm. We will open the phone lines and discuss genocides near and far, past, present, and into the future. Tune in and call in if you wish.

 

God FUCKING DAMMIT

THIS GODDAMN THING ATE MY FUCKING POST!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

 

Tom Palumbo, REVOLUTIONARY!

I just read a great article from Commondreams, http://www.commondreams.org/headlines05/1029-06.htm.

It's about Tom Palumbo, who managed to get into a staged speech of GW's and exposed a wonderful shirt with big letters stating, "DUMP BUSH." For his act of speaking out, he was removed from the premisis by secret service who handed him over to the police who let him go. Just his little part in the Revolution. Thank you Tom Palumbo.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

 

Torture

Bush says torture is legal everywhere but in the United States:

http://www.commondreams.org/headlines05/1029-03.htm

However, Bush is wrong as well as a liar.

It is a proven fact that information extracted via torture is useless. The people tortured will tell their torturers whatever it is they want to hear in order to get the torture to stop. As well, any useful information gained via torture is usually useless after extraction.

So why does the U.S. torture people? In my opinion it is done to strike terror into the populace of Iraq. It is best performed on the innocent because it shows to the populace no matter how innocent you are, you cannot protect yourself from the meanest country on earth. People who commit the crime of torture do so out of revenge...vindictiveness. It gives them a sense of power over those not powerful enough to defend themselves against these horrible monsters.

I will never forget the words spoken by a torturer claiming to be a christian. He stated he has those wonderful christian values of loving your fellow human being, you know, that christian lie called agape love. But, he stated, there is nothing like walking into a room with a potential torture victim and they are so terrified at the sight of you that they piss their pants. Now that is a christian value that we Indians are more than familiar with. Thank both god and satan for the fact that I will be going to hell so as not to spend eternity with criminal pieces of shit as the above as well as all those heartless fucks in the Bush administration. Actually, I don't believe in heaven or hell.

Torture is a crime. It is a violation of an international treaty signed onto by the U.S. government. It is a violation of the U.S. constitution and an act of treason on behalf of the shithole that stole the election, George W. Bush, as well as the shithole complicit in the stealing of the elction, John Kerry.

Read the article, and let's all start a Revolution.

 

I found a gift

For those of you who have been reading my blog, you've undoubtedly been reading my whiny ass bullshit about the pain I suffered during my two marriages. Well...I think I found the gift at the end of my whiny ass bullshit.

Friday, we picked up a donation of an antique doctors scale. I'm still 5' 9 3/4". I have also gained 26 pounds over the summer and weigh in at an impressive 235. Wow! I wasn't sure what to think. It didn't bother me, but it seemed like a physical sign to something going on in my spirit.

This morning, while walking across the Burnside Bridge, I came to a realization. Because of my own self-hatred issues stemming from childhood sexual abuse, dysfunctional alcoholic co-dependent family stuff, and 13 and 1/2 years of marriages where I was verbally and emotionally abused by the women who alleged to love me most, I came to the following conclusion: In order to protect myself from someone wanting to fall in love with me and treat me like shit yet again, I took on that role myself. I've treated myself with hatred and disgust so that no woman would have to. That way, I wouldn't wake up next to the enemy and wonder (like I had for so many years) how I was gonna defend myself against the woman laying beside me. I took on both roles. I hated myself more profusely than ever and have treated myself accordingly. This, I wrongly beleived, to be protecting myself from any potential lover that would take on that role for me.

Understanding that I am my own worst enemy, I realized that I don't have to be. I can treat myself any way I want to because I don't NEED to protect myself from me. I'm fine.

When I was with my last wife, I started working out. I worked out for 90 minutes EVERYDAY. One day I saw the top two cans in a potential six pack, and it scared the fuck out of me. After I left, I continued to work out, but the desire started dying in me. I fell into my self-loathing to protect myself.

I am working on the decision now to no longer hate myself. There are no women expressing interest in me so I don't have to defend myself against anyone. I no longer have to defend myself against myself, either, should I choose not to. With that in mind, what do I want for myself?

I want to work on my health. The first right is health. My only real health issue is my weight. I'm considering working out again. (Not 90 minutes worth, though. Not right away, anyway.) I'm considering changing my eating habits.

I still did a few things to take care of myself. I took care of my skin daily. I still exercise regularly (riding bike, hiking, work). I take care of my hair. I occasionally take vitamins. I am still capable of taking care of and loving myself. It'll be nice to work out again. It's good for mental health as well as physical. I can start taking my vitamins daily again. There are a lot of things I can do.

The most important thing...It would be best to work on Revolution from a place of good health, both physical and mental. Revolution is the most important thing to me. Revolution is the healthiest choice for a healthy world in my opinion. The current system, no matter who you vote for, is NOT healthy for the people. A healthy Indian for a healthy Revolution!

So, I found a gift...at the end of my whiny ass bullshit. I knew it was there. Thank you to those who have endured my bullshit. Choosing good health is the gift. No one can take that choice from me, except me. Not even a lover.

See you all at the Revolution!

Friday, October 28, 2005

 

NOE! NOE!

This is just too fucking Great! Tom Noe has been indicted for illegally laundering money during the Bush campaign. This is so fucking funny!

http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/102805L.shtml

 

Scooter

I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby has been indicted and faces five felony counts. Need I say more. This fucking cheered my flat ass up!

http://www.commondreams.org/headlines05/1028-21.htm

 

Radio Show

The "Mitakuye Oyasin" radio show went well yesterday, according to those who listened. David and I frothed at the mouth and we played some good music.

I was asked later what suggestions, if any, I had in creating that change. It was more of a challenge on my belief that change can happen. I told the man that I tried some 15 different things and ALL of them have run into a dead end, except, of course, for the radio and TV shows. But, at least I have tried. And I will continue to try. And maybe, someday, I will find that thing that works, or many things that work, and that change will be created. If not...At least I tried. At least I tried. I love the people enough to try to bring about the change that would honor the human rights of one and all. It's worth a shot. You are all worth at least that out of me.

 

"Something is dying..."

There is a line in a Saul Williams song that goes: "Something is dying inside of me. In spite of me."

I woke up this morning realizing that something inside of me is dying, and I wish it would hurry up and die.

I have been lonely a lot lately. My loneliness doesn't come with longing, it comes with asking myself if I'm willing to go through another significant hunk of my life being treated like shit by someone who alleges to love me most in the world. I have a consistent pattern of horrible relationships where I get treated like shit. I have NEVER had that love where my lover loves me back the way I would have loved to be loved. I get abused. I get used. I get treated like shit because I'm not the man they wanted. I'm something they settled for. I am fat, ugly, and generally unattractive and am way down on the list of women's choices for the love of their lives. It doesn't matter how much love I put into a relationship. It doesn't matter what actions I take. I am just not worthy of such love.

I was told many months ago that there were a lot of women interested in me. NONE have come forward. Not one. (I beleive this was told to me to build my confidence, NOT because it was true). I occasionally get those feining interest looks. But those intersts, if real, must have left those women quickly upon realizing just how unattractive I really am. Maybe they realized the same thing the women who tried to have committed relationships with me did after we got together: I am just not right. They would be settling for something less than they really want. That I have nothing to really offer.

This shit has been running through my head a lot lately, and it has been driving me nuts and is pissing me off.

Waking up this morning, I realized that part of me is dying. That part of me that wanted that wonderful love. That part of me that wanted great sex (only happened once in my life and not with either of my wives). That part of me that wanted companionship. That part of me that wants to love and be loved. It's dying. I wish it would just fucking die so I don't have to feel this stupid fucking bullshit anymore. It pisses me off. That love is not only something I don't deserve and am not worthy of, but it is something that will never happen for me. I am just not good enough for a woman.

I do have confidence in myself. I am determined to do my part to get the Revolution going so EVERYONE can enjoy having their basic human rights honored. I have confidence that I am and will do my part in this.

I have another 40+ years of my life left. A friend asked if I could live without that type of love for the rest of my life. Considering the fact that that type of love has done nothing but brought me pain and suffering, I'd have to say "YES." That yes indeed! I could live without being treated like shit by the person who alleges to love me most. I don't miss sex because it has only been great for me once, good a few times, and mediocre or bad most of the time. I haven't had sex for about 14 months now. Not a big deal to me. It's never been consistently good enough to make me want it bad enough to put myself in the line of fire.

NOW HURRY UP AND FUCKING DIE, THAT PART OF MYSELF, I'M SURE THAT READERS OF MY BLOG ARE GETTING FUCKING TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT YOU, AND I SURE AM GETTING TIRED OF WRITING ABOUT YOUR TIRED UGLY ASS! GO AWAY! DIE, DAMN YOU! DIE!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

 

Hurricane...What was it called again?

Have any of you noticed that there is less media coverage on this last hurricane that hit U.S soil? Is it because of the global black eye the U.S. government got because of their brutal behavior towards those who survived Katrina? Is it because they were so embarassed as to how unprepared they were and the corruption that sucked away the money to repair the levees? Is it because they are only gonna minimalize funding to get life back to...I don't want to say normal...to barely keep alive the particular victims of this hurricane? I mean, after the insinuations Condaleeza Rice (genocidal criminal) has made, we may be at war with Syria, Iran, and North Korea soon. That's a lot of killing and oppressing. And killing and oppressing aint cheap. It will cost trillions in dollars and thousands of American lives and hundreds of thousands of lives of those other humans of dark skin and wrong religion. Just keep the victims out of the media and all will be fine for the imperialist front for those few wealthy white boys at the top. Hurrican...what was it called again? Ah, who cares. As John McCain would say: "Forget about the past, let's look ahead [and still not do a fucking thing about it].

 

2000 Americans and counting....

2000 American soldiers have died because of combat in Iraq. Untold amounts of Iraqi's have died and have their lives brutalized by the U.S. government and their thugs in the military.

Staff Sgt. George T. Alexander Jr., 34, of Killeen, Texas, was wounded on Oct. 17, and died in San Antonio, TX a week later.

I was listening to an interview with some of the relatives on NPR this morning and was so sickened and angered that I had to turn it off and pound on the steering wheel and scream "HE SHOULD BE HOME WITH HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN!" This, of course, was after a specific question was asked. The question was do you feel you husband sacrificed himself for a good cause...

PARDON ME! MOTHER FUCKER! THE MAN DIDN'T SACRIFICE HIMSELF, THE MAN WAS SACRIFICED! HE WAS SACRIFICED BY G.W., CHENEY, RUMSFELD, WOLFOWITZ, RICE, MCCAIN, SMITH, ETC. ETFUCKINGC.!

There is a big difference between sacrificing and being sacrificed. Bush and the boys sacrificed this young man who should be home with his family. They murdered him for the oil business. I understand that the family would love to believe that he died for a good cause. However, he died for oil business billionaires who don't give a fuck about him or his family.

What is his wife gonna do now? The Bush Crime administration has and is going to continue to cut benefits to the men and women in the military and their families. If she's not working, she's gonna have to find a job now because I'm sure that her husbands death benefits out of the fed will be minimal or non-existent. How is the woman gonna pay for child care? Hopefully she'll have family who can help. Now her kids will have to be raised without their father.

It would be nice to say that he died for a good noble cause, but the greed of a few fat cat white boys in DC and their corporate masters who desire global domination and are willing to kill one and all in order to get it is not a good cause. It is not a noble cause. It is BULLSHIT!

Please! Please! Anyone who is reading this...we need a REVOLUTION BAD! Let's stop the killing. That there is a noble fucking cause. Let's bring about the honoring of the human rights of all human beings and let's stop allowing the fat cats to use us to oppress and kill or be killed so that they can have more and more and more and more.

And let's not forget how many thousands of Iraqi's have died because of U.S. imperialist ventures? Colin Powell would say: "It's not a number we're concerned with." I wonder if Iraqi families whose members have been murdered by U.S. troops believe they died for a noble cause?

 

Tag

The truck for the William Temple House Thirft Store has been tagged again. This time it was the side toward the street, so this tagger was a little more daring. I don't know why people tag. Is it a bravery thing? Is it a thrill of doing something illegal? I can only speculate. However, here are some facts about the tagging that upset me.

The William Temple House could be fined if we don't do something about it. So, we are having to pay to have it professionally painted on both sides. (The tags are huge and cover some of the writing on the side of the truck). This is gonna cost our organization money. Money that could have been used to help people, but will now have to go to a painter to take care of our truck.

The William Temple House provides counseling for the poor, food, clothing, and other assistance to those in need.

Being a 501C3, we don't have money for security, so that makes our truck an easy target. So, if it is bravery and daring that gives the tagger a thrill, bragging points should be taken away. A lot of bragging points should be taken away. If it's the thrill, then thrill points should be taken away since it is easy to get away with tagging our truck (not that we like it that way, but again, security costs money).

What really upsets me, however, is that we will get the truck painted at the cost of hundreds of dollars plus it will be a day we won't be able to use the truck to pick up items, thus costing the WTH more money. Then, in a week or two, the tagger will again hit our truck, and again, it will wind up costing the WTH money. Vandals go after easy targets. They seem to be too scared to go after corporate targets who can afford the security. But they are definitely willing to do what they can to hurt the poor. That qualifies them as assholes in my book.

 

Don't Forget to Dance

Peter Brzica has been a subject of an obsession of mine for the last couple of weeks, and has been in the back of my mind for about two years since I first heard of him. No pictures of the man. Made it to the U.S. under an assumed name.

The other night I had a nightmare. I woke from it, not remembering the nightmare itself. But I was stuck in that half awake half asleep phase. I kept having this tremendous horrible feeling. It was indescribable. It was a fear of being seen, caught, tortured and brutalized. It was a fear of having to deal with the filth and destruction created for the sadistic pleasure of the few. It was a fear of having to do unspeakable things in order to survive. It was a fear of dying. It was a fear of living. And there were three men outside my door, waiting to burst in and take me and do unspeakable things to me.

I had to turn my light on to break the spell of the nightmare, and it took over an hour and a half to get back to sleep.

I had a similar dream, one time. I dreamed that there was a Holocaust survivor floating above my body. Then, I was in his body. He was laying in a bed in New York. He was wearing his best suit. He wore his best shoes. There was a briefcase or suitcase. The man was filled with an incredible sadness. He was waiting to die.

This is some pretty heavy shit to feel. I know people all over the world RIGHT NOW are being forced to feel similar things because of human brutality against each other.

Here, in my space of privilege, I can't forget to dance. Like Emm Goldman said, and I paraphrase; If I can't dance at your Revolution, I aint gonna come.

Knowing horrible things are going on all over the world, I can't keep myself going by fighting all the time. I need to find the things that bring me happiness and pleasure, as do we all.

Yesterday, while driving down Everett in NW, leaves were falling from the trees as we were waiting at a red light on 21st facing east. It was like snow, or rain.

After getting home, I found that my housemate was entertaining a few new members of her dance troupe. The dining table was decorated in Halloween stuff with halloween dishes and lots of autumn colors. Heidi is great at this kind of thing and it was all so pleasing to the eye and created a great and comfortable atmosphere. Although I'd already eaten, I did enjoy some blueberry pie for desert, then ate a little peach pie before I retired to my room for the evening.

When I hear music I enjoy, I will usually dance. Some people I know would just enjoy making fun of me. Some people I know admire the fact that I'm willing to dance and look ridiculous. Some people I know are jealous. And there are all sorts of other feelings deepending on the person. But I dance. It feels good. I'm not afraid to be a fool. I'm not afraid to be a target. I'm not afraid to stand out or speak out. There are a lot of things I am afraid of, but being a fool or a target is not one of them, and neither is dancing.

I enjoy the people I meet while driving for the thrift store. I enjoy my friends. I enjoy my daughter. I enjoy smoking pot. I enjoy a good nights sleep. I love chocolate, especially "Wild Huckleberry Truffles" from Moonstruck. The good coffee drinks from Grendel's across the street from KBOO. I enjoy a good cigar when I can get one. I enjoy walking barefoot in the grass. I enjoy Heidi's cooking. I enjoy cooking with Heidi. I love a good story. I look forward to seeing Saul Williams on the fifth, and am wondering more and more about My Morning Jacket (as long as I can dance). I love KBOO. I love a good conversation. I love sharing. I Love flowers. I love rubbing my hands on rosmary and lavendar and smelling my hands. I Love getting a massage. I Love petting animals. I Love a good joke and even laugh at bad jokes. I Love hugs. I Love being by the water. I love walking and riding my bike across the Burnside Bridge. I Love driving the truck for my work. I Love the goats I live with, who occasionally try to eat my pants and rarely let me pet them. I Love sitting in the hammock in the back yard with my daughter, Felicia.

These, and many more things, bring me pleasure and joy and feed my soul so I can continue to try to do something to change the world.

How about you? What do you do to sustain your spirit?

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

 

Tom "We Want a Cut" McCain

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/politics/2002581515_tribes25m.html

In an article from the Seattle Times:

"U.S. Sen. John McCain said Monday that gambling regulations for American Indian casinos need to be reviewed because an industry that has grown to nearly $20 billion in annual revenue on mostly cash transactions is vulnerable to corruption."

{In other words, John is saying the U.S. isn't getting a cut of our stuff. The U.S. government was unsucessful in keeping their boot on the throat of Indian economies and keeping the genocide against Indians strong and persistent. How can they remain our genocidal masters if we gain control over our economies. Corruption? Absolutely! Let's talk about corruption. No bid contracts for Halliburton, Bechtel, Blackwater, etc. Oh...wait...that's whitey corruption. Whitey corruption is OK and whitey wrote laws making sure everyone at the top is immune from prosecution. Whitey is good! Red Niggers who may be able to buy some of the shit stolen from them is BAD! Fucken red niggers!}

[Gordon] Smith, a Republican whose son committed suicide as a college freshman in 2003, said he introduced a bill to help prevent teen suicide, after the senators noted the rate among American Indian teenagers is nearly three times the national average.

{The bill probably awards a contract to Blackwater to kill the Red Niggers before they kill themselves. It's much more fun that way. For the little Red Niggers who are successful, Halliburton will rebuild the closets the Indians hang themselves in. SINCE WHEN DOES THE U.S. GOVERNMENT DO ANYTHING TO HELP US FUCKERS AT THE BOTTOM, ESPECIALLY US RED NIGGERS!}

Many of the tribal leaders called on the senators to expand public education about tribal government and the history of what Klamath Tribes Chairman Allen Foreman called an "underprivileged people" who have suffered centuries of abuse.

McCain said he was sympathetic but urged the leaders to look forward.

"I can't go back and change history," McCain said. "I'd like to go back and right all those wrongs. But all I can do is try to right the wrongs that are before us now."

{Let's not seek justice against many of John's good Christian buddies. Truth is, it's an act of genocide, and the genocidal criminals, like McCain, must be protected from those who would seek justice. Let's not forget this wonderful fact, many federal inspectors were given favors for passing grades in the criminal boarding schools. Some of those favors included being given Indian children to rape at their pleasure. Many of these rapists hold positions in the U.S. Government, and to bring them to justice just might set a precedent in getting genocidal crimials, like McCain, impisoned and possibly hanged...that is...if there were REAL justice in this nation.}

Wyden said the meeting at the Native American Student and Community Center at Portland State was part of a bipartisan effort to resolve some of the perennial issues facing the tribes.

"The chairman of the Indian Affairs Committee has taken notes and listened," Wyden said, "and he has got the gavel in his hands."

{Now that they made their opiate speeches to the Indians, they look good for the Indian vote, and standing against Indian casinos...because hating Indians is still in good political form...they can get the vote for those who also wish to continue the destruction of Indian communities by keeping their boots on the neck of Indian economies. The U.S. government and its criminal representatives, McCain, Smith, and Wyden, will look good, and get votes. Then back in DC, they will still do their part to continue the genocide against Indians in this country. But at least they're Demicans...or is that Republicrats? Nothing will change and the issues that stress Indian communities will continue to get worse. But that's OK! No one really gives a fuck about us Red Niggers anyway. All of us REAL Red Niggers are gone. All that's left is the residue. Don't we really understand the U.S. Government policy that "The Only good Indian is a Dead Indian?"

{Basically, all these fuckers in the government have done is attempt to opiate the Indian masses, let us know the issue of genocide and illegal occupation of our land by the U.S. government will never be resolved because they have no REAL belief in justice. Just like a good rapist would tell their victim, "Don't look to the past. Look to the future. Don't try to get justice against my criminal behavior. All it will do is upset you. What I did to you is OK. Move forward. Don't seek justice.

{HEY! JOHN MCCAIN, RON WYDEN, GORDON SMITH...FUCK YOU ALL!}

 

Julie Sabatier

Julie Sabatier spent a brief time at the BOO her last day on the job. I was lucky enough to catch her before she took off for the day. I gave her several hugs and almost cried when I hugged her, the last time she was sitting at her desk.

But, someone as fantastic as Julie will find a good path. She is so vibrant and full of life, I know she will find something good. She is a great human being. She is a great friend.

Lisa Loving is taking on the job. I love Lisa as well. She is an awesome and wonderful human being.

May many good things come to all of those involved. I love them all.

Monday, October 24, 2005

 

Peter Brzica 3

I tried to find out if there are any pictures of the Peter Brzica, "King of the Cut Throats." There are no known pictures of the genocidal maniac. As stated previously, Peter became King of the Cut Throats when he and many of his Ustasa buddies had a contest to see who could cut the most throats at Janesovic (sp?) death camp in Yugoslavia. Peter Brzica managed to cut the throats of 1360 Serbs in a matter of hours. He had to constantly sharpen his butcher knife. I have no idea how many other people he had directly murdered. Peter was a member of the Catholic intelligensia and probably made his escape to the U.S. via the Vatican who may have helped him get established under an assumed name. The Vatican helped hundreds, if not thousands of Nazi war criminals escape, as long as they had enough money. I wonder if the man hasn't bragged to someone. He was certainly proud of his murderous achievements at the time. Was he able to contain his joy of the brutal slaughters he participated in? Does anyone know about this piece of shit or have information on him? I'm currently somewhat obsessed, though I'm fairly certain that unless the Vatican opens it's vaults of information on their own criminal activities, we may never know what happened this this genocidal criminal. He may have gotten away with his genocidal activities. I'd like to find out what happened to him. If he's alive, he's an old man, now. Peter! Are you still out there?

 

KGW News Darkies

I saw 2 KGW news billboards this morning with four faces of familiar people whose names I do not remember other than Joe Donlan (sp?). There are three men and one woman pictured. I've seen them all on TV, and they are all white and light skinned. However, on these two billboards, one on Hwy 30 in the industrial area, and one on MLK that can be seen if you are heading south at around Prescott if I remember correctly. On these two billboards, the whities are tinted to looked a weird tan color. What the fuck is that? Is KGW attempting to appeal to the darky audience by saying something like: "See these whities are really darkies on the inside. So you want to watch our news and buy our stuff as advertised to you, the darky audience. Are they attempting to get the viewers who are sympathetic to darkies and their causes, and then buy the stuff the advertisers are selling? I mean news is only filler between advertisements. The people are sexy and supposed to appeal to our sexual desires. They don't tell us any useful information, but we are entertained enough to watch and see the commercials and buy the stuff advertised on those commercials. And there, on the billboards, all the whities are tinted to be darkies, and I'm pretty fucking offended. I could be mistaken, but I don't believe I am. Advertising to get you to watch the advertising on the news and to go out and consume, consume, consume. I've been called white before, and here we are seeing whites tinted dark. FUCKING WEIRD AND OFFENSIVE.

 

Why? (Divorced Life Part 2)

The question has been asked of me many times. Why did I get into the relationships I did?

Well, let me give a little history. I was raped when I was five. Childhood sexual abuse comes with a special damage that never really leaves, you just learn to deal with it better. I also grew up in a house with an alcoholic father and emotionless and loveless mother. My parents, for the last five years of my father's life, did nothing but YELL at each other anytime they were in the same room together.

I didn't date until I was 20. I had a girlfriend who used me. I left that relationship. I had an affair with a beautiful married woman, and though I loved her madly, she was married, and that didn't work out. I occasionally had sex with a friend for about 4 months, and then, for about four years, no woman showed any interest in me. Well, that's not exactly true. There were lots of women in committed relationships that thought I was adorable, and there were those words I heard over and over again: "If I were single..." However, single women found me repuslive. I couldn't get a date to save my life, and finally, I just gave up. Again, that old saying was proven wrong that if you stop trying, Love will finally come along.

Finally, a woman showed interest in me. Feeling so terribly lonely, I took the bait. Our relationship always felt uncomfortable to me, but hey, here was a woman who was actually interested in me, and was single. Once we were committed to get married, everything changed. Sex became a rare. We didn't even have sex the last 13 months we were together. I was told that I was "ugly" on occasion, but more often, I was just told how "bad" I looked, smelled, etc., how everything I did was wrong, and I found out she was complaining about me behind my back everytime she had a chance. Cuddling was a rare occurence and when it happened, it was brief. I was given looks of disgust by my wife everytime we were in public. She was basically telling me she was embarassed for settling for someone who looked like me. I cleaned more and more. I did whatever she told me. I poured all the love I could into our relationship. We adopted a wonderful little girl, Felicia, who is my third cousin. One day, my wife told me that I should wear pajamas to bed because to see my naked body was so disgusting. She didn't say it that way because referring to my body disgusted her, she gave me this look of revulsion that I will never forget. I decided to commit suicide. Not following through on my commitment to ending my life because I Love my daughter so much and myself just enough, I left my wife and went right into the arms of my second wife.

I was given lots of love and affection and told I looked nice...at first. Then the yelling started. It got more intense. I poured more Love into the relationship. I cooked and cleaned a lot. Every minor infraction would warrant a yelling sometimes so loud that she would actually be spitting in my face. I've been called a "stupid fucking idiot!" I had my race insulted repeatedly. I had my sex insulted repeatedly. I had my parenting insluted repeatedly. All of this overflowed into my daughters life as well, who was never good enough either. I was told I was genocidal. I was told I was abusive. I was reminded daily what a piece of shit I really am. Any compliments made about how I looked started to mean nothing because if I truly looked good as she told me, I don't believe she would have treated me in such a manner. It happened EVERY DAY! Every day I woke up, I would worry about how I would be yelled at that day. But I loved her. More love is the answer...No it's not. More love showed weakness and weakness was to be attacked in order to make...I have no idea. My religion was insulted as well. I was told frequently that I was hated by my last wife. Finally, my wife managed to verbally beat my love for her to death, and I left.

Thirteen and a half years of being treated like shit as well as being raised in a dysfunctional family pay a toll on ones soul.

Every morning I woke up, I worried about why I would be treated like shit today by the woman who alleged to love me most in the world. How can I avoid being treated like shit? What was so wrong with me that neither of these women could love me for me? A whole fucking lot! I lived a life of fear of being treated like shit any time I was around these two. How do I defend myself against the onslaught? How can I NOT be ugly today? How can I NOT be offensive today? How can I defend myself today against the women who allege to love me the most?

Now, I wake up, and the only person in my bed is me. It doesn't hurt to wake up. I don't fear waking up. I want to wake up. I try to make a difference in the world (something that was also insulted by both wives, though in different ways). I know today, I won't be treated like shit by the woman that alleges to love me most above all others because...she is not there to do so. If I remain alone, I remain happy.

I keep working on accepting the idea that I will NEVER have another lover relationship (I have over 40 years of life to go, yet). Sometimes I want to believe there is someone out there that will treat me with the love and respect I deserve, but a bigger part of me KNOWS that is not true. Maybe I DON'T deserve that type of love.

When I wake up, my bed is NOT empty. I am there. I think I'm a pretty decent fellow. I hate my body and see myself as ugly and unattractive, but that is NOT as important to me as changing the world for the better. Besides, my physical lack of attractiveness keeps away the women who will most likely eventually abuse me and treat me like shit for not being what they REALLY wanted.

I still look at and feel desire for women. However, I know that it is never mutual, and that is fine, because, like I said, I wake up in the morning, and there is no one in my bed who is going to treat me like shit whom I have to worry about how I will have to defend myself against throughout the day.

Everyday, I become more comfortable with the idea of NEVER having that love in my life again. No one shows any interest in me, and I go home happy. I have wonderful friends who I Love very much and who Love me. I get lots of hugs and have wonderful company. I get to pet wonderful animals (I have always loved touching, something that attracted the married woman to me). I wake up everyday knowing I will NOT be treated like shit, and if any one tries, I will defend myself. Life is Good! and I am Dancing At My Own Revolution!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

 

Peter Brzica 2

I became somewhat obsessed with Peter Brzica after reading Paul L. William's book, "The Vatican Exposed." Peter Brzica was part of the Catholic intengensia, and was one mean and cruel mother fucker. This man was INCREDIBLY cruel, and seems to have gotten away with his crimes at Janesovek (sp?) during WWII. I've been so curious about this man ever since I read about him. I could never find anything about him other than his becoming "King of the Cut Throats," on the internet. I have recently found out that he most likely came to the United States under an assumed name and has been here ever since. He may be deceased, he may be an old man walking around. Who knows? I want to know.

It's a good chance that the Vatican protected him after the war and got him a fake passport and papers and he now may still be living around this country somewhere. The Vatican protected many of the murderers that escaped from prosecution for their crimes during WWII. But only if they had enough money, of course.

Criminals criminals everywhere, and many came here to roost.

If anyone knows anything about this piece of shit, let me know. I'm curious.

 

Book 'em, again, Danno!

I received the first galley type copy of my book yesterday. Now starts the process of going over it again and again and again until the end of the month, and even having others go over it as well, then off to the publisher, and then readings anywhere possible. Let's start the Revolution right now!

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIE!

After our hike, Felicia and I hung out at the BOO for a while. We wandered over to Ole Ole and had dinner, where we ran into Orion and John as well. I didn't notice them at first until Felicia pointed them out (even after I walked past them once).

After dinner, Felicia and I wandered to Broadway where we hung out at a coffee shop for a few before heading to Julie's.

Felicia was bored at first, but then all the games started and she had a great time. There was lots of talking, music, fun, laughter, much good times to be had.

Felicia created some great drawings as well. I talked BOO stuff with quite a few of the BOO people who were there.

Felicia wound up crashing on Julie's floor, and I crashed on her futon, where, occasionally throughout the night, I was wakened by the Wiley kitty who needed some attention from this stranger sleeping on HIS couch.

We got up and went to breakfast with Julie at the Tin Shed, and finally brought her great birthday party to a close with her dropping us off at the BOO.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN, JULIE! YOU ARE SO AWESOME!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

 

My Life of Divorce

I have been divorced from my last wife for a little over 13 months now. Yes, I am keeping count. I left my wife because she was verbally abusive to me and my daughter and I just couldn't take it anymore. I had asked for a divorce a month previous, but she talked me out of it and in three days time, she was back to the same person.

Two weeks before I left, I had a one time affair.

The clincher was when my daughter came up and talked with me about her cousin who had recently died. She was scared to talk to me about it because she was scared of my wife. I got tired of being scared of my wife as well. When my daughter and I finally talked about it, it was during his funeral, which she missed because of me. I kept her home because she wasn't talking about his death. It was because she was scared to talk about how she felt.

I had my daughter the following Thursday, and she was still scared to express her feelings to either of us for fear my wife would yell at her. She went back to her mom's on Friday (after she got out of school). I came home and told my wife I wanted a separation or divorce. We talked. I slept in the same bed with her one last time (no sex). I got up, packed up my clothes and told her I'd be back for the rest of my stuff the next day.

I made rounds with some friends to let them know what I just did, and they all praised me. I called my sister and asked if I could stay with her a while, and she was so glad that her "prayers had been answered" that she agreed.

When I finally got there, I started crying and crying and realized that I would NEVER go back or seek counseling with my wife, it was that bad for me.

I picked up my stuff the next day. I told my wife, first on the phone, then two weeks later in person, that I would NEVER be returning, nor would I be seeking counseling with her, it was that bad for me.

Because my wife considered me irresponsible, she NEVER put my name on anything, nor were we legally married. Those ties were not difficult to break, especially since she had me read all sorts of self help books and books about verbally abusive relationships concerning my first wife.

I first lived with my sister. That was nice and safe, and I was hardly ever home. I was buying a car from my last wife, but in December, she had found out about my affair and took the car from me and kept my money. No legal contract was signed, so her ripping me off had no legal recourse. However, the psychological benefits were ENORMOUS. I no longer had ANY connection with her. WOO-HOO!

I moved from my sisters and in with a friend. One of the rules was I was to have NO company. I violated that rule and she kicked me out, keeping all of my rent.

I then moved into a temporary place with Lisa "The Great" Loving and her husband and family. They are early morning people like me, so it was nice the days we would all get up together, drink coffee, and share the news and jokes. Felicia was welcomed there as well.

I started getting to know the new friends I made, Julie, LA, and Heidi. I wound up moving in with Heidi, where I have been living since, along with 6 (now 5) cats, 4 goats, 1 (now 2) dogs, and 1 (now 5) bunnies. We live in the Garden Home area, and it is like living on a farm. I love my housemate. She is so cool. Her husband, Traian, is home, and we get along well. We have another roommate, and her, I don't get along so well with.

Times have been up and down. One time I was so down (after I got kicked out by my crazy roommate before moving in with Lisa and her family) that I seriously contemplated suicide. All of it has been better than being verbally abused.

Sometimes I get lonely, but my logical mind always takes over the conversation. So much so, that I didn't even realize that the reason the type of conversations that popped in my head that would happen were because I was lonely. I would start asking myself if I even want to try a relationship ever again. Mostly, the answer is NO. There are times when I feel open to it, and women kinda sorta pay attention to me, but nothing ever happens, not even a date (though I kinda dated a little shortly after I left my wife). So women are NOT really interested in me in that manner. That is nice, because it gives me time to think and ask myself what I really want. I realize I wake up in the morning with only ME in my bed. I am not laying by someone who is gonna treat me like shit and that I feel I have to be on my guard so I don't get treated like shit that day (my guard never worked). I think of the line Lois says in "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" (my daughter's favorite movie). She tells Ace "I'm gonna make your life a living hell!" Ace responds, "Sorry, Lois, but I'm not interested in having a relationship right now." That's me. Life was a living hell for me when I was with a woman. Now LIFE IS GOOD! When I'm lonely I immediately go to that question. Why do I want to be abused again? I know not all relationships are abusive, but mine SERIOUSLY sucked. Happiness, was not on the agenda.

I did as much as I could, too, to make both of my wives happy, but it was never good enough. I was never good enough. The first wife seemed to think of me as too Indian. The second wife seemed to think of me as not Indian enough. I cooked, I cleaned, I drove most of the time, I hugged, I cuddled, I kissed, and I Loved and Loved and Loved in hopes of being treated nice, but it just didn't work. Putting more love into an abusive relationship just doesn't work. Why would I want to screw up a life without abuse by getting into another relationship? More and more, I don't want to get into another relationship. I just don't think I can take a life of being treated like crap for being who I am.

There are NO women interested in me. I'm not particularly attractive, and no women show ANY apparent interest in me. I have many wonderful women friends (for the most part, I can't stand men), and we have great relationships. Why would I want to screw all that up by finding a lover who will most likely treat me like shit?

I go home, I have a wonderful housemate and animals to hang out with. I go to work, which I love, and have wonderful friends and co-workers there. I am having the best relationship with my daughter. I come to KBOO and just love this greatest place on earth. I go home, and wake up in the morning with my stuffed dog and kitty who NEVER treat me like shit. How can I beat that?

Sex? I can do that on my own. Do I need to say more?

Hugs I get a plenty from my friends. LIFE IS SO FUCKING GOOD!

I love being single. The funny thing is, so many people have told me that when one starts to think like that, that is when love comes into your life. Over the last 8 months I've started thinking like this off and on. When I think like this, I don't even get a sideways glance from a woman. Women don't seem to find me attractive. That works for me.

I'm settling more and more into being by myself. I ask myself regularly, "Can I be by myself the rest of my life?" I have another 40 or so years to go. The answer seems to be yes. I don't close the door on any possibilities, but it is easy to step out of the path of the dangers I believe a lover relationship brings.

I harbor NO belief that there is a woman somewhere in the world for me. I don't think there are any who can handle me as me.

I feel good being by myself. Loneliness isn't so bad. In fact, after the marriages I've had, loneliness is FUCKING GREAT! I know these types of relationships work well for some people out there. I'm not one of those people. I plan on staying this way as long as possible. Most likely, the rest of my life.

LIFE IS GOOD!

 

What If We Gave A Hike, and No One Came?

Heidi, my housemate, arranged for a hike on the Lower McCleay for this morning. Everybody but Felicia and I cancelled. That's OK. We got to see many wonderful mushrooms.

Jasmine, one of Heidi's dogs, came along on her first of such trips. She did very well. She would only get nervous around dogs that were bigger than her.

Felicia did well, though she would have done better if the crazy little girl had worn socks. Details details.

It was fun, though.

 

Tom Delay

Odd! The only time I've seen genocidal criminal Tom Delay smile, was for his mug shot at his booking.

 

Peter Brzica

I've been curious about this most horrific criminal, Peter Brzica. At Janesovic (sp?) a Yugoslov death camp not only for Jews, but for Serbs as well. One evening in '42 or '43, Peter, and other good Catholic boys (members of the Ustasha) found out their camp was getting in a new shipment of prisoners. To clear out some of the old, they had a throat cutting contest. Before mass graves, the Ustasha would cut the throats of Serbs. Throughout the evening, Peter Brzica became the champion killing 1360 Serbs by cutting their throats with a knife that he regularly had to sharpen during the contest. He became known as "King of the Cutthroats."

I've been wanting to know what has happened to this horrific criminal since the end of the Nazi's. I have only heard that the man has allegedly made it to the U.S. and that he lives/lived under an assumed name in this alleged great nation. His name was one of dozens given to the U.S. as wanted war crimes criminals in the U.S. Nothing ever came of it.

The Ustasha were especially cruel, even more so than your average Nazi death camp guard. I've seen pictures not only from this cut throat contest, but also of wonderful actions like holding a man down and cutting his head off with a tree saw.

Many direct particpants in genocides all around the world walk U.S. streets, and many of their victims as well. Things to think about.

Friday, October 21, 2005

 

Native Nations 10/20

On the 13th, I had pretty damned firm confirmation that a dance troupe was going to be on the TV show, Native Nations, which I host with David Liberty. Yesterday morning I made a call and found out all the dancers are pretty flaky and there was no coordination in getting them on the show. I made arrangements with a flute player to come down instead, who called me just after I punched out from work to inform me that he, too, would not be coming down for the show. I love it when a plan completely falls apart.

I rode my bike to KBOO to catch a ride with my friend LA, who showed up right after I parked my bike. We loaded up and headed out to MCTV at Mt. Hood Community College.

I got there in time to inform Jim, the producer, that there would be no flute player. We would only have the two videos about the Klamath Basin and the fight to remove the genocidal dams on the river, and me, frothing at the mouth.

The set was completely dull and boring, because, well, David Liberty and his wonderful sense of style wasn't there.

When I first sat down to get mic'ed up, I sat on the microphone. I said I was going to see if I could really talk out of my ass.

I was getting hungry, and the pizza dude didn't show up until the moment we went live. We always open with scenes from what Celilo Falls should look like had not the genocidal dams been put in place to kill off the salmon and the people and make lots of money for a few white men. John Trudell was singing Crazy Horse from his CD Bone Days, when suddenly there was my mug on the screen. "AHH!" What a way to start the show. Total surprise!

I went into a rant about what is going on in the world for about 7 minutes, and then announced the video.

PIZZA. Jim always buys us a canadian bacon and pinapple pizza. Thank you Jim Lockhart!

We munched and watched the video where nobody payed attention to the protesters. A couple of women walked by and laughed at them. What assholes.

When we got back on the air, I almost immediately started pounding on the table telling people I want it all back. The dams are an act of genocide. They need to be removed.

I also went into a tirade about Al Gore. How he recently stated that if he had won the election in 2000, things would be different. I reminded the asshole that he did indeed WIN the election and this IS what we got. I also reminded him he laid down on his belly before the republicans and spread his cheeks for them. I know...I've seen the video, and you can see it too on Michael Moore's "Faranheit 911."

After that rant session, we went to a clip of Jeff Mitchell, former head of the Klamath people, discussing dam removal.

Sat back down for the last of it. Explained to people how there is NO equality for women in this country, or for that matter, any country. I also brought up the fact that some people have told me they fear that I could be killed for how I speak out. I pointed out that I've been doing this very publicly for 12 years. No one has come to get me. And even if they do, they will ALWAYS know they are criminals and I will know that at least I tried something.

I also reminded people that I want a world where ALL human rights are honored. If you don't have health care or know someone who doesn't, that IS a violation of human rights. It is a human right to join a union and have protection from unemployment. Homelessness IS a violation of Human Rights. I encouraged people to read these documents. I let them know that they are easy and pretty self explanatory.

I also reminded people to DANCE at the Revolution. Do the things that bring your soul energy and balance then get out their and REVOLT SOME MORE!

I get peoples attention for a short amount of time, so what am I going to say.

Suggested books from the show:

"War is a Racket" by Smedley Darlington Butler

"A People's History of the United States," by Howard Zinn

"Confessions of an Economic Hit-Man," I forget who the author is, but will let you know in future posts.

REVOLUTION NOW!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

 

Good Walk

After having a meeting about my book last night, my friend and publisher gave me a ride home, and I wound up leaving my bike here, thinking the walk across the bridge from downtown would be kind of nice that early in the morning.

On the bus, it started raining. I started anticipating a wet walk across the Burnside bridge. Thank goodness it wasn't raining hard on getting off the bus on 6th and Burnside. It was a serious drizzle, and I knew I would get wet.

I took a quick pace, but on getting about 1/4 across the bridge, I heard that ever familiar noice of the DING DING DING DING DING. And sure enough, the bridge was rising. Even though the rain would have more of a chance to soak me, the view was surreal with the rain and the bridge reaching to the sky like a prayer. Water drizzled down the grooves of pavement like tiny creeks. It reminded me of the glacier creeks on Mt. Adams. The street lights shined and the water reflected the light and it was quite the spectaular spectacle at 6:30am in the pre-dawn morning just above the Willamette River.

I searched the water for the object of the bridge raising, and there it was, coming from this side of the Morrison Bridge. A giant barge being pushed by a tug. The tug had a search/head light that reached from its position behind the barge to beyond the barge itself, lighing the way so the pilot would not run into things he shouldn't. It cut through the water creating ripples like a rock being dropped in a puddle, except much larger, of course. The rain was clearly visible in the white light of the searching lamp. It looked like a ghost in the darkness with all of the artificial light and action going on on the river.

I could hear the engine, then the barge headed beneath the open bridge. In a matter of a few minutes, the barge went beneath the opening and the tug pushing it dove underneath as well.

I made a tobacco offering before the bridge started lowering. When it was back in position a voice warned over the loud speakers to stand back as the guard rails were about to be raised. Up went the non traffic sides first, and the car engines seemed to start revving like they were preparing to start a race from a dead start. The arm raised, and they were off. Cars wizzed by as if they were all late for work. Then the oncoming traffic heading to downtown was reacting in the same manner.

I walked slowly at first, as bicycles passed close by. Then picked up my pace. I made one more tobacco offering of thanks at the part where the bridge separates, put my head down in an attempt to protect my already drenched glasses, laid the soles of my shoes to the pavement, and picked up the pace to prevent getting a thorough soaking.

"What a wonderful experience," I thought to myself, and then I was at my destination, the glass door of KBOO.

GOOD MORNING!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

 

"Book 'em, Danno!"

It looks like my book will actually be published soon. It is a book of poetry, and since starting the publishing process, I've barely written a poem. Originally slated for publication in June, due to many problems in the process, it should be out next month. I try not to think about it much.

The book will be titled, "Tremble in Fear Before the Soft Pudgy Indian." The title is a line from my poem, "Anger Management."

I know one person who will NEVER be reading it...Barbara Lantz. Since I refused to read her book, the first chapter was enough for me to tell exactly where it was going, she informed me that she would never read my book. I so hurt... No, really... And then, of course, she came up with her race changing powers (probably chanelled through Chief Joseph) and informed me I "have the soul of a white man."

My poetry is angry, funny, sad, compassionate, and 100% Revolutionary.

I wasn't looking to get published at the time my friend came forward and informed me he was a publisher at an open mic I participated in. He really liked my work and felt it should be read and heard by many. OK. I don't know. Heck, we'll see what happens.

Coffe time! I'll be right back!

I know this book will NOT bring me fame and fortune, nor is that what I am seeking. I want a Revolution. I want to implant that word in people's minds. I want a Revolution without killing, because NOT killing is indeed a Revolutionary act. I want an end to all war and an honoring of the human rights of ALL humans.

Ummm. Don't know what else to say, so...more later, REVOLUTION NOW!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

 

Crosstown Traffic

On the bike ride from work to KBOO, I had to pass a bus, and in crossing the intersection, a man was jay walking. I slowed down and stayed in the lane I passed in in order to let the man cross safely, then got back over in the right lane. A young woman zoomed by screaming, "GET OVER IN YOUR OWN LANE, ASSHOLE!" I flipped her off.

Lets see. I pissed her off to giving me verbal violence for slowing her down several nanoseconds from getting to the next red light. Hmmm!

I met Leland a few times before we became friends, but Leland and I became friends when my daughter and I were crossing Burnside on foot one day. Leland was crossing with us and walking with a cane. A single car, the only car coming, who had free access to all the lanes, missed hitting Leland by inches. I screamed "ASSHOLE" to the man. It amazed me that a human here in Portland is willing to maim or kill someone who may or may not take up a few precious seconds of their getting to the next red light. No wonder the U.S. government is committing genocide in Iraq and all over the world.

Mind you, I cuss at traffic a lot, not as much as I used to, but I am NOT willing to kill or maim someone for taking a few precious seconds of my life as I race to the next red light. To all you drivers who are willing to kill or maim for those precious seconds...FUCK YOU!

 

Mars Attacks

I've seen a recurring theme in movies like Mars Attacks and Independence Day. Alien regimes come to the world and act like the U.S. government in taking the resources by force and genocide. However, the U.S. always seems to have their smallpox blankets at the ready in order to defeat the enemy coming to steal everything from the governments who have stolen everything from somebody else. In Mars Attacks, it was Western Yodelling music. In Independence Day, it was a missile attack to the opening whole of the alien space craft just prior to an ensuing attack. The great thing about the aliens coming to kill off everyone, they never seem to go after the Indians on the reservation.

 

Slave Labor

Another thing I've seen in The Holocaust Chronicle is the use of slave labor from the death camps. BMW, Prescott Bush, IG Farben, Krupps, and many other corporations, some of them still in existence, benefitted (and never went to prison) from slave labor from the Nazi death camps.

Slave labor was also used in boarding schools in Canada and the U.S. Indian children were often used for slave labor to make clothes, farming, and many other wonderful things in order to help further U.S. and Canadian businesses. Slave labor is bein used in Iraq, though there are certain degrees of separation. But, let's not look at those kind of things.

 

Medical Experiments

As I thumbed through The Holocaust Chronicle, there have been numerous references of the medical experiments done to the concentration camp victims. One picture showed a woman, one of 24 women, who had one of their calf muscles removed. There were injections done on people of various diseases and other wonderful things. This was done here in America as well.

There is the famous Tuskogee Experiment. It was systematic in Indian Boarding Schools that medical experiments were done on Indian children. My Blackfoot parents had medical experiments performed on them by pharmaceutical companies. The latest medical experiment, or at least the last attempted one against Indian children that I have heard of, was about 2000 when a pharmaceutical company wanted to test their hepatitus b vaccine on a bunch of Indian children. I believe it was shot down, but wouldn't you know it, these type of criminal activities still exist.

My Blackfoot parents have bot suffered from medical experiments at the hands of their good Christian overseers. They had all sorts of wonderful experiments done to them. They even had an odd TB test done to them which involved scarring their backs. After escaping permanently their internment in these prison camps for Indian kids, they went to various doctors and asked about the markings made on their backs by their good Christian overseers. The doctors could only tell them one thing, it wasn't a TB test. They had no idea what it was however.

They finally stumbled upon one doctor who had seen numerous cases of this alleged TB test. He knew what it was. There is a Christian superstition that if a person is marked a certain way on their back, that they are then damned to hell. It turns out that the markings on my Blackfoot parents back are those type of markings. Good Christians have damned them straight to hell for being Indian. So, when I die, I'll be in good company, as some Christians tell me I'm going straight to hell. I'll be there with my Grandma, my birth father, my Blackfoot parents, my brother Jim, and many many other Indians. Thank GOD we've been damned to hell and don't have to spend eternity with genocidal maniacs such as those praying eternally to their genocidal and egomaniacal god.

 

Slaughter In Iraq

As I thumbed through The Holocaust Chronicle on Saturday, I came across information on Jewish retaliation. How some Jews would kill or try to harm a Nazi. If the Jewish attackers survived, they were hanged along with some twenty or thirty others who were innocent and not involved in the attacks. It's called RETALIATION.

I heard the news on Sunday that 5 american soldiers were killed by a bomb in Iraq. I read the news on Monday that the U.S. bombed the life out of a few villages in RETALIATION. The U.S. alleges they were insurgents, but there is proof that many, most likely all, were civillians. How dare those Iraqi's consider defending themselves from their genocidal oppressors. For every attack against Americans, the punishment to the civlilians will increase. It's called RETALIATION. Like what the Nazi's did to the Jews who fought back. Like the villages Hitler ordered razed (killing hundreds of civilians) when Rheinhardt Heydrich (designer of the "final solution") was assasinated. Just like the bombings of Dresden. Just like the fire bombings of Tokyo. And so many other examples. RETALIATION.

I want it all to stop.

A man I know, a former army ranger, and an Indian, used to have a large mural in his back window. It was an army ranger with the face of death and an army ranger hat. It said, "mess with the best, die like the rest." Not let's create something beautiful together. Not let's see if we can think of a way to neutralize nuclear waste. Not let's end war. Fuck with America and the military will RETALIATE with such brutal and horrific force as to create many more insurgents in hopes of getting it to stop.

I want it all to stop.

 

Lonely

I couldn't sleep again last night. I woke up shortly after midnight, got back to sleep around 3, and was up at 4. All that time gives me time to think.

I've recently been thinking about how I was treated like such shit when I was married. Since the women who alleged to love me the most treated me like such shit, I also started thinking why the hell would I even think of trying to do something like that again.

I go through phases of wanting to pursue love and never wanting to have a relationship like that again. As I was thinking about the meaness involved in my previous relationships, I connect that with any potential love relationship. Combine that with the fact that I was slightly ill made the feeling of not wanting a relationship even more strong. When I would get ill, I would be treated even worse than regular by both wives. How dare I get ill when I was supposed to serve their every need. Me being sick was just an inconvenience to them and the thought of making me comfortable while I was ill seemed unthinkable to them both. Because of this treatment, I have a strong immune system. My emotional system, however, is still pretty fucking damaged.

I wonder about these fluctuations and realized I feel lonely. Instead of allowing myself to feel this loneliness, I step into my self-defense mode. I tell myself things like: "there isn't a woman who can handle the way I am nor accept me for who I am" (which I believe to be true), "I'm fat and unnatractive" (which I am), etc. I fear falling into something that is again horrible and brutal to me. The best way to keep myself safe is to not try again.

Then there is that natural tendency in life to want to find someone to be with. A companion to love and live with. I miss cuddling, but with cuddling often came verbal abuse, so I fear it also. Better to cuddle my stuffed kitty and dog than someone who could potentially brutalize my emotions. I get plenty of hugs as well, which helps. However, I don't feel my lonliness. I feel my fear and pain when I feel lonely. I realized that last night as I lay in bed unable to sleep. It is only natural.

None of this, however, remains carved in stone. Tomorrow, I may change my mind and again pursue love. What's funny is when I pursue love, women notice me. It is all feining interest, and soon they are gone, usually to never be seen again. When there is any sign of serious potential, there is usually someone or something around to screw up my wet dream, and at night, I lay in bed, and no one is treating me like shit. That is so nice.

My friends tell me when I feel like this, never wanting a relationship again, that that is when it usually happens. That's a bunch of bullshit. I have felt like this more often than not since my birthday in January, and during those times is when women are noticeably uninterested in me. There is absolutely NO feining interest.

Tomorrow, I may not even be thinking about this. It will just become a part of who I am. And I won't write about it here again until those natural feelings of loneliness creep in and my defense mechanism amp up to remind me that all I received for my efforts in love have been pain. I will never forget.

Monday, October 17, 2005

 

What if they gave a Sweat, and nobody came?

I was asked to pour water for a sweat out on a friends land on the other side of Yamill this last Sunday. Everybody called in and cancelled, and those that didn't showed no sign of showing up, so we never built the fire. One man showed up about 15 minutes before the sweat would have began, and we all wound up sitting around eating turkey soup and talking politics.

I took Felicia down to feed my buddies animals. She got the door open and her hand inside when a male goat slammed his head into the thing and smashed her hand. It didn't look too good, but nothing was broken. (It was completely fine this morning.)

We went back up and watched "Shallow Hal" with Jack Black and then headed back down to feed the animals. This time, I went into the shed (complete with head butting goat) and got their food. We both particpated in feeding all the sheep, goats, and 1 llama. It was fun.

Felicia and I went back to the house and watched the last half of "The Distinguished Gentleman" a comedy expose into the underbelly of DC politics, which looked more like real life than a joke.

Felicia and I hung out on his back deck and checked out the sky, which was beautiful.

We went to bed, and I was called by a friend and we talked for about half an hour.

On the way to drop Felicia off at school this morning, traffic was so bad it took two hours to get there, a half hour longer than usual. My friend, Chuck, and I talked politics all the way in.

I got to work later than I said I would, but not much later.

Life is good, my friends. LIFE IS GOOD!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

 

Stormy Weather

I love stormy weather. I love the dark gray puffy clouds that look menacing and muscular. I Love the feel of the air and the powerful winds. I love watching the trees dance. I left my window open all night just to hear it. After I woke up, I put my pillow at the foot of my bed and laid there for about 20 minutes listening to the trees dance with the wind. The wind feels powerful against my body. The rains are so juicy.

The months of March and April, I loved riding my bike between KBOO and my temporary home in SE. I would get soaked at times, and it felt so beautiful. I'd know that at the end of my journey was a warm wonderful KBOO or my temporary bedroom where I could warm up and do the things that make me happy.

My favorite storm, however, happened about 11 years ago. I was with my first wife, and we were heading home to Aloha via the hills South of the town. It was night, and the clouds made the sky especially black. It was raining so hard and there were no street lights and visibility was difficult at best. The thunder would shake the car. It would roll like it was coming over the clouds and shake us like we were leaves on the trees. We came to a large field. Where we stopped. Outside, the lightning was playing and dancing. I swear two holes had opened in the sky, North and South of each other. Large thick bolts of lightening would shoot out one of the holes to be answered by large thick bolts of lightening from the other hole. We stopped the car and got out to watch. It was as if two of the Thurder Beings were above this field and talking with each other. We stood there for a while in the rain, amazed at the ferocity and beauty of this amazing storm, when my ex realized we were really close to this conversation and that maybe we should move along.

As I rode across the bridge this morning, coming here to the BOO to write, I enjoyed the strength of the wind. I said a prayer to the river and tried to offer tobacco, but it was blown up onto the bridge. I laughed, and a man surprised me asking me for some tobacco. I gave him some, and he walked off. I tried again to make an offering to the river by placing it in the 2" divide where the bridge separates when it is raised, and again, it was blown onto the bridge. I laughed.

 

Blazing Saddles

I bought a copy of Blazing Saddles from my work yesterday. That movie makes me laugh so hard.

After the movie was over, they had interviews with Gene Wilder, Mel Brook, Harvey Corman (sp?), a couple of the writers, and the actor who played Lyle. They originally wanted Richard Pryor, who was also one of the writers, to play Sheriff Bart, but he was too unreliable, having one day missed work because he ran off to Detroit with a couple of women he had met. They laughed and laughed and laughed the 8 weeks they wrote the script for that movie. I wish I could have been there. As Mel put it, they were confronting racism with humor and playing very dangerously at a still volatile time.

I remember the first time I saw that movie. It was in the St. Johns Theater, here in Portland. I was 10, and my parents had taken me to see it. I remember the scenes between Cleavon Little (one of my favorite actors at the time from the sitcom "Temperatures Rising"), and Madeline Kahn. I was so terrified for the both of them. I was looking around the theater. I was expecting there to be outrage but only heard laughter. I was worried that they would both be killed because of the scenes they portrayed in that movie. Somehow the humor got people to see beyond their prejudices. HUMOR, it's a wonderful thing.

Cleavon Little, sadly, passed away in '92 from colon cancer. Madeline Kahn passed away a few years ago from cancer. Though there deaths are indeed sad, their humor lives on in their creative activities. I am so thankful that such two wonderful people have blessed this earth.

THANK YOU ONE AND ALL!

 

Can it happen today?

I continue to thumb through The Holocaust Chronicle. People, especially here in the safety of the U.S., relatively speaking, have said that it could never happen again. Well, it has, and it is, just not here, not yet.

It is currently happening in Darfur where the Janjaweed are killing and raping blacks.

It's happening in Iraq at the hands of the U.S. government.

It's happening in Palestine at the hands of the Israeli's.

It's happening all over Africa.

It's happening in the U.S., though with a kinder, gentler hand, but for how long.

George Bush is working hard at skirting the Posse Comitatus, as we all know. George wants a fascist nation ran by military force where one and all are FORCED to conform to our little criminal kings ideas of how the world should be ran. I believe King George the II wants a world in which everyone gives or is forced to give him everything, and then he can distribute the wealth amongst his wealthy friends while everyone else in the world is forced to suffer, except, of course, for the enforcers.

I saw many photos in the Holocaust book of Nazi's enjoying the cruelty enacted upon the Jews, Sinti and Roma, women. I think of the Americans who enjoyed displaying genitals they cut off of Indian women and displayed them as hat or saddle horn decorations to the cheering crowds of complicit townsfolk. Scalps. Reins. Razor straps. Tobacco pouches. We Indians were good for something. I think of the lifeless heads displayed in East Timor thanks to Kissinger and Ford. I think of the Rape of Nanking. And I KNOW it can happen again right where I'm sitting.

I will do my best to stop this monster. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I have no idea what the hell to do. I speak out on radio, TV, and everywhere I am. I Love my fellow human beings enough to do what I can.

How do you stop this monster? Right now, it seems it may collapse under it's own weight, and we may wind up in a similar world like that after WWII. I worry for the generations to come. I personally believe the answer lies in women and children. Afterall, it is MEN who created the world the way it is. I read in the Holocaust book of school boys who didn't carry the same prejudices as their Nazi adult counterparts, and in solidarity with the Jews in their classes, they wore the yellow star of David so the teachers couldn't single those children out for persecution.

I'm sure the answer lies with the women and children of this world. It must. They key is there, somewhere.

Friday, October 14, 2005

 

Recognize this?

The Eastern Pequot and the Schaghticoke nations in Connecticut have had their federal recognition overturned. They were notified by fax because there is no one brave enough in the BIA to face these people and this decision.

The decision turns out to be politically related in the fact that the public doesn't want more casinos. The public, unless Indian, illegally occupies Indian land. Indians wouldn't need casinos were it not for the fact that the U.S. government will not get their boot off the throat of Indian economies, an act of genocide (imposing conditions to bring about the destruction of a people in whole or in part).

It was good politcally to be an Indian hater, or better yet, and Indian killer back in the 1800's. It is still good politics, except the killing is a little less direct nowadays. But everyone seems to love politicians that are willing to make sure Indians are thoroughly oppressed. Genocide...it's good American politics.

I also disagree with federal recognition because it is the ENEMY telling US what race we are or aren't. This, is a crime. The Nazi's identified what is and isn't Jewish. The destroyers of the Indian races, Americans, decide what is and isn't Indian. Indians, don't get a choice. We are seen as too inferior to decide what people we belong to.

P.S. FUCK YOU U.S. GOVERNMENT AND THE BUSH BULLSHIT ADMINISTRATION!

 

Felicia

Felicia is sad to be a natural leader by her teacher. WOO-HOO! I love my daughter so much! She is such a great kid!

 

513 years and 1 day

Yesterday, on Mitakauye Oyasin, David Liberty and I interviewed author Andrea Smith, "Conquest: Sexual Violence and American Indian Genocide." It was a fantastic interview. The horrors unleashed upon women in general is crazy and has to be stopped. Hope you heard it.

We also had Inga Muscio in the studio, author of "Autobiography of a Blue Eyed Devil," and "Cunt: A Declaration of Independence." These amazing women are doing what they can to end violence in general, violence against women, and bring peace into the world. Please read their books. After 513 years of genocide and occupation of the Western Hemisphere by people whose greatest tool is FORCE, here is a little bit you can do to educate yourself and learn to take actions to bring an end to war in this world.

THANK YOU, HUMANITY AND SPIRITS, FOR THESE TWO FANTASTIC WOMEN AND SO MANY OTHERS THAT I KNOW!

Also, a big fat THANK YOU to LA for arranging this interview, and a big fat THANK YOU to Glen Owen for getting out information on the Indian victims of hurricanes Katrina and Rita. There are a lot of awesome people in this world. Meet them, hang out with them, lock arms with them, and lets all bring an end to war.

 

Chechnya

The Chechens are again committing acts of terror to counteract the acts of genocide and terror enacted by the Russian government headed by genocidal war criminal, Vladimir Putin (aka Pootie-poot), good friend and ally of genocidal war criminal GW Bush.

The Chechens have many sympathizers amongst the people of Russia, as they have educated themselves about what is going on in that country. Read the book, "A Dirty War," by Irina Politkovskaya. The attrocities Pootie-poot IS enacting against the people of that nations is downright fucking sick, as well as genocidal, crimes against peace, and crimes against humanity. Educate yourselves, folks. Find out the truth behind the lies. Recognize the patterns constantly enacted by the powers that be in nations that seek to oppress and control others. They are not so hard to follow after that. Understand why these people are so desperate as being willing to kill innocent people to bring attention to those attrocities. Learn, understand, and do what you can to STOP these things and prevent them from ever happening again.

 

Holocaust

My housemate has a book that chronicles the Nazi Holocaust. There is so much that meets the pattern of what America has done to the Indians it is uncanny. What really caught my eye was the photo of a cute little girl clutching a doll and smiling. She was probably four. At the age of seven, she was murdered along with her parents at Babi Yar. The caption stated that the killing of children was important in that it would prevent future generations from retaliation. To quote methodist minister Col. John M. Chivington at the Sand Creek Massacre; "Kill them all, little and big...nits make lice."

The idea of physically identifying Jews, Sinti, and Romani, looks like a page out of the phrenology movement (predecessor to modern day archaeology). The phrenology movement in the 1800's in the U.S. was a group of "scientists" that believed they could prove racial superiortiy by measuring the brain capacities of skulls from inferior races, especially Indians. Then I saw the photographs of Jews, Sinti, and Romani being measured and examined by the "race police." Hitler really did get a lot of his ideas from what the Americans did to the Indians.

Ghettos looked like reservations. They even had Jewish police that would police the ghettos who turned in their fellow Jews who were resitance fighters, and the same thing happened here on Indian reservations. Indian police would protect our dominators and oppressors by turning in or even killing their own in order to please the master, the U.S. government.

The cutting off of the hair of those interned in Nazi death camps reminded me of the cutting off of the hair of Indian children by good christians in Boarding Schools.

The humiliations endured by Jews publicly reminded me of the humiliations endured by Indians here in the states, myself included. My father. You have to teach the proper races their proper places in this great and wonderful country of ours.

What do you think they are doing to the people in Iraq? Do you think liberation really has anything to do with why we are killing and destroying the Iraqi people and their nation?

The Nazi's got their blood quantum idea directly from the Indians. Jews were identified by blood quantum, just like the Americans defined us Indians. I paraphrase: Hold to the 1/4 blood quantum, encourage intermarriage and soon we will define Indians out of existence and thus solving our "persistent Indian problem." Part of the Indian "Final Solution."

Sterilization programs of the Nazi's were directly taken from what the Americans did to us Indians.

Add to all of this American behavior surrounding the black survivors of hurricanes Katrina and Rita, as well as the Indians. Do you notice any patterns here?

Take into consideration what Americans are doing in Iraq. See any patterns there?

Take into consideration that over 200 American corporations funded the Nazi war machine during WWII. One of the corporations, Brown Bros. banking, had Prescott Bush sitting on the board. Prescott Bush was also part of the attempted fascist take over of the U.S. government in '35 (stopped by Smedley Darlington Butler). Prescott Bush also sold Nazi War Bonds in 1942, here in the states. Prescott Bush's grandson, George W. Bush, currently resides as president, a position he stole. Do you see any patterns there?

A great read about American Corporations involvement in Nazi attrocities is, "IBM and the Holocaust," by Edwin Black. Through IBM's Holerith Division in Germany, they created the machines, predecessor to the computer, that not only made the trains run on time, but helped round up the Jews, Sinti, and Roma, all with the complete knowledge and complicity of IBM head, Thomas Watson. See any patterns there?

Keep your eyes open, folks. We have our work cut out for us.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

 

Al "hahahaha" Gore

"Former Vice President Al Gore said Wednesday he had no intention of ever running for president again, but he said the United States would be "a different country" if he had won the 2000 election, launching into a scathing attack of the Bush administration."

I got this quote from an article about Al Gore from Truthout.org. Funny, he did win the election in 2000. And we all saw what he did to the American public. He waffled. He laid down. He bent over, dropped his drawers, and took it like a man from George Bush.

If Al became president, everything would still be the same. He would have done it with a different style, finesse, and actual intelligence, but it would all still be the same bullshit. And the Democrats would be apologizing for his illegal behavior as they did for his illegal behavior when he was vice president. "Well...at least he's a democrat."

And what a safe place he is at to make such a declaration. He is a white man of great privilege. He can suffer little of the career damaging effects of the Bush crime administrations vindictiveness. He refuses to put himself on the line again. But he is willing to speak out against Bush.

Al is in a place that can actually DO something about the Bush crime administration. Other than speaking out, he isn't doing anything. He IS armed with the authority and privilege to do something, but he has made it clear his only intentions are to verbally bash the Bush crime administration. Mighty fucking brave of you Al. And how would things be different if you were elected in 2000, which you were?

You were elected in 2000, Al, and look what is happening. What you should be saying, in my opinion, is this: "Had I TAKEN my proper place as the president elected to run this nation..." blah blah blah.

Here is another something for you, Al. In a lecture given by John Trudell to the people of Portland, Oregon that I was a member of the audience in, John had this to say about you: "[Al] didn't write that book (Earth in the Balance). The man who wrote that book would NOT have signed onto NAFTA and GATT."

Lately, you seem to have braved up enough to discuss openly the criminal behavior of the Bush administration, but you are still NOT brave enough to admit that you did indeed win the election in 2000. Pretty much makes anything you have to say disingenuous, in my opinion. You will speak out and undoubtedly allege it to be on behalf of the people, but you laid down like a good democrat when you actually won the election in 2000, thus in your action saying a great big fat FUCK YOU to the American people.

Just so you know, and not that you care, I have absolutely no respect for anything you have to say, Al Gore. Go stroke yourself somewhere else.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

 

513 years

Today marks 513 years since the beginning of the holocaust here in the Western Hemisphere. So much has been destroyed, so many lives (not just Indians) stolen and slaughtered in a horror that continues all around the world to this day. If you wish to read a definitive book about Chris Columbus, "Conquest of Paradise," by Kirkpatrick Sale. I also suggest you read Columbus' log, interpreted into English from Bartolome de las Casas' copy (the original was lost centuries ago) by Robert Fuson. I don't like Fuson because he is also an apologist for Columbus and his actions. However, the work interpretation is accurate. You will notice that the word "gold" appears probably more often than "god" in the log. Interesting.

Time to end the occupation. Time to end the killing and oppression worldwide. Time to honor the human rights of one and all.

SEE YOU AT THE REVOLUTION!

 

What's an Indian?

Have you ever wondered what is and isn't Indian? You only have to ask the Great Julian "Max" Johnson (a Black Man) or the Great Barbara Lantz (author and White Woman). If you're an Indian and telling me that I'm an Indian...WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW?! You probably haven't even been racially identified by one or both of these great purveyors of race. If you want to know if you're an Indian or not, contact one of these two fantastic people, afterall, what the fuck do you, your family, or your community know? Probably not one of them has been racially identified by the Greatness of Julian "Max" Johnson or the Great Barbara Lantz. So contact one of these two people right away and find out if you are or aren't Indian. They should know! They have great qualifications at defining Indians because...well...um...just because.

 

What's an Indian?

Do you believe yourself to be Indian? Well what the hell do you know?! Unless your race has been defined by the Great Julian "Max" Johnson (a Black Man), or the Great Barbara Lantz (author and White Woman), you have no real idea. If you're an Indian, and are telling me that I'm an Indian, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW?! You probably have yet to be racially identified by the great JULIAN "MAX" JOHNSON and or BARBARA LANTZ. Who better to know what is and isn't Indian than these GREAT non-Indians. Just ask them...they'll tell you. So, if you have yet to be racially identified, contact these two people. They'll tell you what is and isn't Indian. And they should know. They...they...they have upstanding qualifications because...um...because they said so. I mean, what the fuck do you know until one or both of these fantastic people have identified you.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

 

Indian Katrina and Rita Victims

Amy Goodman of Democracy now did a great interview with tribal members who are still suffering the effects of hurricanes Katrina and Rita. Indian tribes are still waiting for help. Check out the article. There is a link to send donations in the article as well, but it wouldn't come up on this computer. http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=05/10/10/1335220

None of this suprises me. Just like I know IF New Orleans is ever truly rebuilt, it will be the whitest city of its size in the South. This is all business as usual with the U.S. government. It is also part of the continued genocide of Indians in this nation. But that's OK. As I've been told a few times in my life, "There are no real Indians left." And who should know better than non-Indians, right. Afterall, we Indians are too inferior to know what is and isn't Indian. We are not the Indians Hollywood has portrayed us to be, nor have we ever been.

Check out www.aradicalblackfoot.blogspot.com. There is a great post in there about how Hitler got some of his ideas for the slaughter of the Jews, Sinti, Romani, Gays, Insane, Jehova Witnesses, etc., from the American slaughter of us Indians. Shit, you could put the Nazi Holocaust map over the final solution of "the persistent Indian problem," and they'd match right up. Same with the genocide of the blacks in this nation. Same with the genocide in Iraq. Same with the genocide in Darfur. I could go on and on.

What's happening to the Indian victims of hurricanes Katrina and Rita is not the first time this type of thing has happened, and won't be the last. What's happening to the black victims of hurricanes Katrina and Rita is not the first time they suffered such behavior, and it won't be the last.

 

U.S. and Darfur

I just read in the New York Times that John "why'd you visit Judith Miller while she was in Prison" Boton...That is, U.S. ambassador to the UN, John Boton, blocked briefings in the security council on the Sudan. In other words, he has made sure that there will be no UN intervention in the current genocide going on right now in the Darfur region of the Sudan. If there wasn't one before, this now creates a direct link to the U.S. government and the genocide in Darfur. It makes the U.S. government guilty of aricle 3e of the UN convention on genocide; complicity in genocide. More blood is now on the hands and souls of the U.S. citizenry and especially the horrific and genocidal criminal organization known as the U.S. government.

SEE YOU AT THE REVOLUTION!

 

Racism

Being this particular color, I have to face racism pretty much everytime I go into public. For those of you who don't know, I am an Indian, and I look like an Indian (long hair, dark skin).

Here are a couple of recent experiences that are not all that unusual for me, and I'll undoubtedly have to face in one form or another for the rest of my life.

On Sunday, I went to a local bar/family restaurant that I had not been in before. These places usually serve big portions, and I hadn't eaten a real meal all day. Upon entrance, I noticed two things. One, it's a smoking restaurant. Two, everybody was white working class, except me, of course. Knowing that I most likely wouldn't get served in a place like this, I walked up to the bar and asked for a menu. The waitress handed me a menu and said to sit wherever and she would be there to serve me soon. After about 15 mintues and 8 or more passes by the waitress, I knew that I was not welcome there. So, I left.

The other is a fellow employee. This man had called me "chief" once, and I told him not to. We discussed it, and that was that. I have a habit of trying to make my fellow employees happy. It's tough being in the labor force, often tedious, so I like to throw in a few things that lighten up peoples days. I call most of the guys "he man." This does it's job in lightening people up. No one has ever complained, until yesterday. I called that particular person "he man" and he called me "chief" again. I told him not to call me chief, and my blood was instantly boiling. "Then don't call me "he man," he said. "My name is..." "You should have mentioned this before," I told him. It never, to my knowledge, offended him that I called him "he man." Ever! I could tell he was making his racially superior awareness to me. You see, he was showing me that I was being just like him with his calling me "chief" as I was in calling him "he man." I know this because this bullshit has been pulled on me by so many other racially superior whites in MANY different forms. I know how he is thinking. He was pulling one up on me and telling me that if his racially superior personhood can't refer to me by a racial slur, then I should not be allowed to call him something endearing. In his racially superior mind, it is the exact same thing. It isn't, however, for the reasons stated previously. And he is NOT the kind of WHITE MAN that lets things like that slide. I've been calling him and every other guy there that since I began working there over a year ago. Upon return from our morning duties, the fucking piece of shit saw me enter the back and he saw me and said "Indian...a." He was wearing a hat that said "Indiana" on it, and was again displaying his racial superiority to me. My blood boiled, and were we not at work, I'd probably be in jail right now. But here is something else.

I know this racist fucking piece of shit is also my fellow human being. Although I like to think otherwise, I would still help the racist piece of shit out if people were busting his ass. If this racist piece of shit needed my help, I would still probably help his racist fellow human ass. However, I have absolutely no belief that the racist ass mother fucker would have my back, nor would I EVER rely on him to do so.

I guess I can add these to my list:

Being told by a white woman that I have the sould of a "white man."

Being told by a black man that I'm a "white man."

My sister and I going into a restaurant and our names not even being taken (several times in different places).

"How do you say...in Indian?"

The thousands and thousands of racist looks every time I enter the public realm.

Well, welcome to my world my fellow human beings. It's like this for millions of people with racially inferior skin colors. For some it's worse, for others it's not so bad, but it is there, everyday of our lives. ....Welcome...

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